It was indeed a very stressful day for me. I was telling my best friend that, if I have no Jesus in my life as my strength and help, i probably already jumped inside Singapore river.
After a long day of work, i went to Vivo city on my own, just sort of having a "me-time". For the first time in a long time, i didn't really have a proper dinner. I ate "Old Chang Ki" snacks (now i realised it's quite fat, but was very satisfying that time). After that i went to the outside of 2nd floor, and just staring at the Harbour Front view. It was very beautiful. There was a cruise near the deck, and suddenly got this urge of taking 2 day off, and go on a cruise hahaha. Then, i realised, i'm in Singapore, a foreign place for me. "Why am i here again?" i asked God. "This job is so stressful, what is this job got to do with the calling You called me?" (Auditor vs. Worship Leader, sounds like 2 totally different worlds isn't it?)
He answered, " Believe Me, the ministry you'll be going in the future, is going to be so much harder than right now. The current job you're doing is providing a very good training ground for you. Don't give up. Be patient and persevere. I'm always with you. I will give you the strength and grace you need."
Then the song "I will run to You" by Hillsong came to my mind.
Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand it comforts me
From the ends of the earth
To the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen
You called me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory
May You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand
And i will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might
Not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes i will run the race
Til I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace
Not by my own might and power. But it's really by the Spirit that i'm able to run to Him. Like i said, if i only depend on my own strength, i probably ran to the Singapore river already hahaha... Thank God i have God. =)
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before You.
Yet I am always with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel,
and afterward You will take me into glory.
Whom have i in heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
- Psalm 73:21-26